The Power of Patience and Connection in Potty Training with Katie Fenske
Motherhood can be a whirlwind of joy, challenges, and unexpected lessons. For many moms, potty training is one of those milestones that comes with its fair share of ups and downs. The pressure to "get it right" can be overwhelming, but as Katie Fenske, host of Burnt Pancakes with Katie, shares, the key to navigating potty training—like many aspects of motherhood—is patience. In this episode of The Mama Making Podcast, Katie opens up about her own experience with potty training, how she learned to embrace imperfections, and how her podcast has become a place of support for moms.
Patience: The Foundation of Potty Training
When Katie reflects on her potty training journey, she emphasizes the importance of patience, both with her child and herself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your child’s progress to others, but Katie encourages moms to avoid doing this. "It might take longer than your friend's kid or your neighbor's kid, and that's fine," she says. As moms, we often feel the weight of judgment—whether it’s from friends, family, or even ourselves. Katie reminds us that potty training is a process, and it’s okay if things don’t go according to the timeline we expect.
For many parents, the fear of failure looms large, especially when it comes to milestones like potty training. Katie speaks candidly about the "mom guilt" that surfaces when you feel like you’re not progressing as quickly as you'd hoped. But instead of letting that guilt take over, Katie advocates for being patient with yourself. She reassures us that accidents are a natural part of the process and advises parents to prepare by bringing extra clothes and wipes when heading out, just in case.
“There were so many moments where I’m like, I just want to quit right now,” Katie admits. "But it’s okay to have accidents. Prepare yourself to clean up and just move on to the next one." She encourages moms to stay consistent, even when it feels like the journey is taking longer than anticipated.
Embracing Imperfection in Motherhood
Katie’s perspective on potty training speaks to a larger theme in motherhood: the need to embrace imperfection. "I just want to give back somehow and be that for other moms," she says, describing how her podcast came to life. Katie’s journey to starting her podcast wasn’t just about helping others; it was also about accepting that she didn’t need to be perfect to be a good mom. She recalls a moment with her friend during her oldest child’s potty training, when she was frustrated after a setback. Her friend’s comforting words, "Everyone burns their first pancake," helped Katie shift her mindset. She realized that it was okay to make mistakes and that she didn't have to have it all figured out.
Katie's podcast, Burnt Pancakes with Katie, is a reflection of this mindset. She didn’t want it to be just another "how-to" series with experts doling out advice. Instead, she wanted it to be a space where moms could connect, share their mistakes, and learn from each other. The podcast became a place for Katie to express the vulnerability she felt as a mother, something that many moms can relate to. "I just love chatting with moms," Katie says. "It's my favorite thing."
Katie’s podcast also became a way for her to embrace her own imperfections and build a community around shared experiences. As she reflects on her podcasting journey, she shares, "I didn’t go to school for any of this...but I figured out how to make a website, start a YouTube channel, and post a podcast." She’s proud of the growth she’s made, even if the process was a learning curve.
The Importance of Connection
One of the most powerful aspects of Katie’s podcast is the sense of connection it fosters. Katie is not an expert giving advice from a distance; she’s a mom who is right in the trenches with others. Her desire to connect with other moms, to hear their stories, and to offer support is at the heart of her podcast. It’s not just about offering solutions to problems but about creating a space where moms can feel seen, heard, and supported.
Katie’s podcast isn’t just for new moms. As she enters a new stage in motherhood—her kids are getting older—she realizes that the challenges and emotions of parenting don’t stop after the toddler years. "I don’t have little babies at home anymore," Katie shares. "I’m excited about that because now I have all this freedom, but I’m also mourning this timeframe of them being little." For Katie, the journey of motherhood is about growth, change, and the bittersweet moments that come with it.
In the same vein, Jessica, host of The Mama Making Podcast, shares how she’s expanded her own podcast to reflect the different stages of motherhood. While her podcast originally focused on pregnancy and the early stages of motherhood, she now feels called to address the challenges that come with older children, like navigating school years and the emotional complexities that come with "letting go." Both Jessica and Katie share the understanding that motherhood is a journey with many phases, each bringing its own set of challenges and rewards.
Creating Space for Real Conversations
One of the things that resonated most during the conversation between Jessica and Katie was the realization that there are still topics within motherhood that remain under-discussed. Katie mentions how she and her cousin were recently talking about "sex after having babies," a topic that many moms feel uncomfortable discussing. "Wait, you feel that way too?" Katie remembers asking her cousin. "Other moms are going to feel that way too." It’s in these honest, sometimes awkward, conversations that real connections are made. Katie’s podcast gives a platform for moms to discuss the things that often go unsaid, like postpartum struggles, the complexity of intimacy after children, and the emotional transitions that come with different stages of motherhood.
Jessica echoes a similar sentiment about her own podcast. "I just want to hang out and talk about things we're interested in," she says. "If one person can get some interesting fact or knowledge, or if another mom says, 'Yeah, that’s me, I get it,' my job is done." The goal is not just to provide expert advice but to create a space for mothers to feel understood and supported.
The Takeaway: It’s Okay to Burn a Pancake
At the end of the day, the advice Katie shares can be boiled down to one simple but powerful message: it’s okay to burn a pancake. Motherhood is messy, and so is potty training. It’s not about being perfect or following a strict timeline; it’s about doing the best you can and showing up for your child, even on the days when it feels hard. Whether you’re in the throes of potty training or navigating the challenges of a new stage of motherhood, give yourself grace. Connect with other moms who get it. And remember, you’re not alone in the messiness of it all.
You can catch Katie’s podcast, Burnt Pancakes with Katie, where she talks all things motherhood, potty training, and much more. And if you’re looking for potty training tips, check out her website and social media for helpful resources and guidance. Whether you're a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, Katie’s honest and open approach will make you feel like you're sitting down with a friend who understands exactly what you're going through.
TL;DR
Jessica is joined by Katie Fenske, certified potty trainer and host of Burnt Pancakes with Katie, to discuss her journey from teaching to starting her own potty training business. Katie dives into the challenges and anxieties parents face during potty training, offering practical tips and insights to make the process smoother.
Together, they explore the importance of meeting children where they are, creating a supportive environment, and how to handle societal pressures surrounding potty training. Katie shares her recommended age range for starting potty training, the ideal timeframe, and tips for reinforcement. Jessica and Katie also share their personal experiences and discuss the importance of patience, consistency, and self-compassion.
In addition, they reflect on their journeys as podcasters and the value of building a supportive community for moms.
How to connect with the guest:
Website: www.burntpancakes.com
Mom podcast, Motherhood Podcast, Motherhood Journey, Postpartum Mental Health, Pregnancy, New Mom Support, potty training, parenting, children, toddlers, preschool, anxiety, support, tips, potty training, challenges, variations, child's personality, patience, consistency, self-compassion, podcasting, supportive community, moms
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